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Everyday i don't cry, i feel my heart grows a little stronger.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

~Veronica A. Shoffstall

But I'm going to be NaNoWriMo-ing this month. If you want to be a part of it comment on this post.

This is going to be written and its going to be written quickly. There will be plot holes. Name changes on a whim. Plot holes the size of my uncle gary. And you to help me fix it all at the end of it. This will probably be all I post in the next month, not to waste another word. I need to hit 50,000 words by the end of the month.

LETS. DO. THIS!

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva

"When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things."

I used to be able to do art, and layouts like it was nothing.

Now I have a hard time putting things together.

I guess its back on the horse for me when i have time. I miss designing.

I most of all miss my mac :(

So Vampire Diaries is awful. But I'm going to read it and watch the show, because I have horrible issues. At least I can admit its cheesy goodness? Sometimes you just need some cheese to go with your wine. (Wine of course being True Blood. That show, really, never ceases to amaze me. I love me some True Blood).

( minor gripe about Vampire Diaries )

Moving it along, moving it along.

When it comes to vampires we all have things we like and dislike about them.

I want you to pick any media, any vampire lore, or anything at all involving vampires...

and I want you to tell me what you like about it..

and what you don't

and what some of your major pet peeves with certain vamp lore is!

PLEASE COMMENT!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and will be respected or I will cut you all like bitches. <3

HAVE FUN!

If you are on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you.
I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other.
Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!
Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) Favorite band to listen to when you're mad?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Current Mood: working

yesterday at the True Blood panel someone asked if there would be a half-vampire, half-human baby...

Alan Ball goes "no"

but some short person we may know screamed out "COLD DEAD SEED"

you may continue.

The Beach Party
Date: Saturday, August 08
location: 2230 Judston St, San Diego CA 92111
Starting Time: 9:00 PM

The Beach Party is a big ole party for the biggest ham. It will be at the Frak House in Linda Vista. Good times will be had. BYOB, hoping to have a blue hawaiian off. There are a few themes going on, but the party is going until someone passes out on lawn SO HELP ME GOD. However, if you drink and you are not okay to drive.. my cabana boy will take your keys. For shizzles.

The Big Damn Birthday
dates: Friday August 14 - August 16
Starting time: TBD
Location: 211 E. Flamingo Rd Las Vegas, NV

Amy is dragging my ass to Vegas. Its going to be wonderful, so we thought we would invite lots of people. We're staying at the Platinum Hotel. Our room is full so any additions will have to worry about their own acomodations. A few friends I haven't seen in a while are coming out so there will be lots of snuggling. We might catch a show or even go out to dinner but mostly chilling in vegas by the pool. Its gonna be a damn good time.

If you are going to attend either event please give me a heads up. Especially for Vegas so I can figure out a headcount.

Thanks kids!

I feel like running around like an anime character going:

FIGHTO! FIGHTO!

Big obstacles in my way. I will kick them down with my short fists of fury! Cute, sparkly fury! Overwhelmed, tired, but dammit.. I'm gonna get to where I am going.

HA!

Current Mood: chipper

If you are reading this right now, you have more luxury than someone in Iran could ever hope for right now. If you are watching TV or a video on youtube, updating your status on Facebook, Tweeting, or even texting your friend, you are lucky. If you are safe in your home, and were able to sleep last night without the sounds of screaming from the rooftops, you need to know and understand what is happening to people just like you in Iran right now.

They are not the enemy. They are a people whose election has been stolen. For the first time in a long time, a voice for change struck the youth of Iran, just as it did for many people in the United States only seven months ago. Hossein Mousavi gained the support of millions of people in Iran as a Presidential candidate. He stands for progressiveness. He supports good relations with the West, and the rest of the world. He is supported with fervor as he challenges the oppressive regime of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

On Friday, millions of people waited for hours in line to vote in Iran's Presidential election. Later that night, as votes came in, Mousavi was alerted that he was winning by a two-thirds margin. Then there was a change. Suddenly, it was Ahmadinejad who had 68% of the vote - in areas which have been firmly against his political party, he overwhelmingly won. Within three hours, millions of votes were supposedly counted - the victor was Ahmadinejad. Immediately fraud was suspected - there was no way he could have won by this great a margin with such oppposition. Since then, reports have been coming in of burned ballots, or in some cases numbers being given without any being counted at all. None of this is confirmed, but what happened next seems to do the trick.

The people of Iran took the streets and rooftops. They shout "Death to the dictator" and "Allah o akbar." They join together to protest. Peacefully. The police attack some, but they stay strong. Riots happen, and the shouting continues all night. Text messaging was disabled, as was satellite, and websites which can spread information such as Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and the BBC are blocked in the country. At five in the morning, Arabic speaking soldiers (the people of Iran speak Farsi) stormed a university in the capital city of Tehran. While sleeping in their dormitories, five students were killed. Others were wounded. These soldiers are thought to have been brought in by Ahmadinejad from Lebanon. Today, 192 of the university's faculty have resigned in protest.

Mousavi requested that the government allow a peaceful rally to occur this morning - the request was denied. Many thought that it would not happen. Nevertheless, first a few thousand people showed up in the streets of Tehran. At this point, it is estimated that 1 to 2 million people were there. Mousavi spoke on the top of a car. The police stood by. For a few hours, everything was peaceful. Right now, the same cannot be said. Reports of injuries, shootings, and killings are flooding the internet. Twitter has been an invaluable source - those in Iran who still know how to access it are updating regularly with picture evidence. People are being brutally beaten. Tonight will be another night without rest for so many in Iran no older than I am. Tonight there is a Green Revolution.

For more information:
PICTURES:
here and here
NEW INFORMATION:
Here - near constant updates
Here - ONTD_political live post
ON TWITTER:
@StopAhmadi, @ProtesterHelp

دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election

- original post by

one_hoopy_frood

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You're ugly, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you're vain, you're mousy, you wear too much make-up, you hide behind your hair, you talk too much, no one can hear a damn word you say, you laugh too loud, you never get the joke, you're clingy, you're cold, you're a slob, you're a perfectionist, you think you're the life of the party, you're always on the phone, your clothes are out of style, you're so vain, you're a slut, you're a prude, you're dumb, you're pretentious, you can't sing, your music sucks, you're such a nerd, you care too much, you're never there, you're distant, you're shallow, you're fake, you're a wannabe, you wish you were me, your legs are chubby, you complain too much, you never smile, you're hyperactive, you're stupid you're fake you're the worst person on earth you disgust me.

But hey, you know what? I bet someday, somewhere out there, someone's gonna realize they want you more than they've ever wanted anything else in the world.

-

trajectory

Current Mood: hopeful

What a rollercoaster I am on. I've got my list in a row, and I'm completely capable of accomplishing it. I've gotten myself into school without help. I've paid for it without help. I crossed the country to start over and find a life i want to live with the promise of a couch and love for who I am. There is nothing I can't do without a little determination. Miracles aren't something that just happen, miracles are something people make happen. I could spend my days lamenting about the lack of help emotional, financially, and physically throughout my life, but I choose not to. I can consitently dwell on the things that were not done in my favor, but I don't. I would not be here without them. I cannot bring myself to be bitter over the moments that brought me to this room, to this house, to these people, to this hour. I am grateful for every last moment. Every last beating. Every last smile. Every last breath.

I thank whatever invisible force is at work for being alive when there were moments that could have ended me. I thank whatever diety reminded me that no matter what its up to me to turn around my life. Me, and only me. No one else owes me anything. No one else is obligated to clean up my mess. I thank those who have been with me every step of the way, offering their words of wisdom, aiding me on my path, and then leaving me to make decisions on my own proving my own self worth in the process. I'm just having a moment where I am overwhelmed by the mere idea of how many people believe in me and my capabilities.

And by george I will prove their faith right. Because I can. Because I owe it to myself to have their faith rewarded. To follow that dream, and then to share it. I will get there, wherever I am going with my chin held high. Because my friends believe in me, and most importantly because I finally believe in me. And because we both deserve to have that faith rewarded.

I can do this. If it means not going out as much. So be it. If it means not buying that dvd box set or spending that extra dollar at lunch. Then its what I have to do. I will get into school, and I will get a car. Because I can. Because I am capable. Each one of us is. You can either dwell on things that will never be, or learn to move on. Right now, I'm moving on. I am strong.

And by god I will have a car and the second draft of my novel done by the end of summer so help me.

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Bob Dylan - Beyond Here Lies Nothin

I'll be out of town until Monday night.

My phone will most likely be in the off position until saturday. Twitter will be off. So if you need me leave a message. I'm going to check voice mail once a day but for the most part its radio silence.

Baby.. I'm going to WAAAAAAAARRR!

Been really sick the past couple of days. I hate being sick. I hate feeling weak. I hate not being able to work. It drives me up a frakking wall. Came home sick again. Got up this morning and it was like 'wheee the world is spiiinnnning' but Chris has sparklepants so went in for a few hours. I do not have a problem pulling extra hours on wednesday to get caught up before I leave for War, and for the next week. Just as long as I'm able to pack, which I hopefully will be able to later today. I hate being sick, cause I get really irritable and things that normally wont piss me off do. Reminds me that I am not wonder woman, and its completely okay ^_^ Also reminds me of how important it is to have health insurance, and how i have to have a talk with Wally about that. Hopefully have that by next month so I can go to the doctor and be like "OMG MY SHOE IS A BIT TO THE LEFT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?!??!?!!" ^_^

But all the little txt messages and twitters at the ittybittypockets direction really cheered me up. imma kick this thing in the balls. I've got my meds. I've got my liquids. I've got my determination.

But until its over.. I've got my fozzy bear and a comfy bed...

Current Mood: sick

Testing.. testing 1.2.3.

I am moving this saturday from the wee hovel on hooker's way to the house of frak in linda vista.

I don't have a lot of stuff but I need some help moving it.

I particularly need help moving the amount of guinness that needs to go from one place to another to be consumed by some sexy moving bitches.

The time will be about 12:00PM so people can get over their Rocky Hangover. If you need directions/address/assistance with your pants please text the ittybitty pocket at:

619-929-8208

And at least give me a head count so how much to plan for. LIke I said I realy dont have a lot. So there is no obligation to be my bitch. The only thing I really need help with is the mattresses. Which need a truck.

I remember coming out here almost two years ago with nothing but two suitcases and a dream. My how things have changed. /stares at the piles of crap that just wont pack themselves

Loves!
Pocket

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer
space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air,
but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold
more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one
night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer,
to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the
stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only
treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember,
to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all
mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep
inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
-George Carlin

There is so much I want to say at this moment. So much I am digesting. I'll save it for another day and let good ole George Carlin sum it up.

No, no. Listen, listen. He said that if they dug his father's body up, it would be gone. They planted a seed over his grave. The seed became a tree. Moses said his father became a part of that tree. He grew into the wood, into the bloom. And when a sparrow ate the tree's fruit, his father flew with the birds. He said... death was his father's road to awe. That's what he called it. The road to awe.

Current Mood: numb

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Your Only Hope

August 2020

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Your Only Hope

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For knowing this, I will be stronger

A little late in the game

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Vampire.. Sucky sucky!

Meme

Quick Con Update

Big Damn Birthday

DETERMINATION! I HAS IT!

Election In Iran

A lovely thought from quotes

Beyond here lies nothin' But the mountains of the past

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F U Body. F U.

OI Beetches

Saturday! Moving! Pants! Guinness! Oh My!

The Paradox of our time

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August 2020

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